I bet he comes in French.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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