his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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