we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
