I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
