Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
