I showed him my bush... on skype.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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