ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
