She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
