On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
