just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
