If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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