Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
