i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
