She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
