Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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