You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He kissed a someone with a penis
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
