there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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