Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
