i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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