I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
