Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
the day after is always just damage control
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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