WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
