every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
