just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
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