And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
