They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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