OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
