actually, I'm a sock model
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
