When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
