pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
