Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
