i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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