So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
