btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
