who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm like, not good at living.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
