I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
