Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize