"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
