Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
