yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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