i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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