I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Is it because I queefed?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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