This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
