his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
