Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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