Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
