Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
