Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
