that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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