Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
