Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize