Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
