Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
