Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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