Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
