i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
