Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
