So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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