He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
