You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
