Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
