dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
