Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
