I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
