i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
