God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
